medusa, trying to turn you to stone, but you accidentally called her “melissa” when you first walked in and now you’re too embarrassed to look at her. “it’s alright” she keeps saying “i get it all the time” but you still won’t look. u don’t even remember the stone thing until later
The thing about horror movie situations is imma do my best to help you but if we running and you fallin or we hidin and you whimperin and sobbin, that’s it! I can’t do nothing else for you! You have made the choice to be a damsel in distress and boo this ain’t Camelot I have 0 time to die
Everything’s looking clear out there today. All the commuters feel like, perhaps for the first time in their entire lives, they are seeing themselves, and the world around, without illusions or denial. All of them have pulled their cars to the side of the road in the sudden shock of such absolute truth.
Some are sobbing into their steering wheel, touching their skin, and remembering what they hadn’t known they had forgotten. Others have stepped out of their cars, and are picking up handfuls of dirt and laughing at the realization this is bringing them about atoms, and the universe, and death.
A representative for the Sheriff’s Secret Police announced that there wasn’t such a thing as a secret, not really, or that maybe the entire world was a secret, and we are all in on it. She then saw a cloud she liked, and smiled at it.
So be sure to allow a lot of extra time for any journeys today, and be on the lookout for abandoned cars and dazed people wandering into the roadway. Because, listeners, everything’s looking clear out there today.